Open the windows at night and invite me in.

:: Ooh. Barracuda ::

Thu, 13 Nov 2003 17:08:55 GMT

What Irrational Number Are You?

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<tr [...] ;>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<div align="center"><table style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; border-color: #006666; border-collapse: collapse;" width="400" cellpadding="4"><tr><td style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font: 110%; font-weight: bold; color: #FFFFFF; background: #066d98; text-align: center;" border="1">What Irrational Number Are You?</td></tr><tr style="color: black ; background: #DDDDDD; font: 10pt;";><td style="color: black ; background: #DDDDDD; font: 10pt;";><div style="text-align: center; font: bold 12pt; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', 'Times Roman', Times, serif;">You are <em>e</em></div><p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', 'Times Roman', Times, serif;\ color: black; font: 10pt;"><div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', 'Times Roman', Times, serif; color: black; font: 10pt;">Of all the irrational numbers, you are the most intense. By nature you are powerful, although sometimes you can spiral out of control. You are good with money; the interest seems to just compound whenever you are near. When someone uses the word "exponential" they are probably talking about you.<p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', 'Times Roman', Times, serif;\ color: black; font: 10pt;">In some ways you and φ are a nearly perfect match. Not to mention how attractive φ is. But then, there is the remarkable π...<p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', 'Times Roman', Times, serif;\ color: black; font: 10pt;">Your lucky number is approximately 2.71828183</div></td></tr><tr style="color: black ; background: #DDDDDD;"><td style="color: black ; background: #DDDDDD;"><table width="100%"><tr><td align="left"><a href="http://www.shinylemur.com">Shiny Lemur</a></td><td align="center"><form action="http://www.shinylemur.com/modules.php?name=Irrational_Numbers" method="post" style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0;"><input type="submit" value="Take the Quiz!"></form></td><td align="right"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/straif/">Straif's Blog</a></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></div>

Ooh. Hey babes. I hope you all are well. I am in the process of working on my new laptop so I've been away. I'll be back soon with a lot of updates and those pictures I promised! -smooch-

:: Hmmm And Then Some ::

Thu, 06 Nov 2003 23:05:28 GMT

Four things;

1. My fingernails are now flammable.

2. I just ate the tail of a blue shark.

3. "Love You Like I Do" by HIM is one of the most depressing songs I've heard in a long time.

4. Palm trees stink like mold.

That's all.

:: My Dreams Are Fading ::

Wed, 05 Nov 2003 23:32:56 GMT

I'm here. You haven't lost me. I'm just trying to breathe softly without blowing anyone else down.

:: Mm. Sexy Quizzes ::

Thu, 30 Oct 2003 15:43:48 GMT

You are a Posttraumatic Stress disorder rock!

::Which rock personality disorder (from the Zoloft commercial) should you have? (Results contain pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Haha. You have no idea.

You are Spearmint.
You are quick-witted and sharp. You pay close
attention to details and you can tell what your
friends are feeling. You are always the first
to understand a joke and you are valued for
your insight and advice. However, you
sometimes isolate yourself from other people,
afraid to share your own feelings.
Most Compatible With: Cinnamon

Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ooh.

I'm just a cool person. People like me.

Why do people read your Livejournal?
brought to you by Quizilla

HAHAHAH. Love the picture. Fonz!

Sig Sauer P226. Greatest gun ever! Feel special.
Beautiful and reliable but can still scare the
living bejesus outta anyone.

What handgun are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Don't I feel special? -smile-

::

Wed, 29 Oct 2003 22:37:25 GMT

Trick Or Treat. Smell My Feet. Give Me Something Good To Eat. If You Don't. I Don't Care. I'll Pull Down Your Underwear.

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
blackeraser goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as a witch.
ange_souterrain gives you 15 yellow raspberry-flavoured gumdrops.
chagrin_noir gives you 19 purple apple-flavoured gummy bears.
danslesreves tricks you! You get a pen cap.
emptiedhate gives you 13 light yellow pineapple-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
eternalnothing gives you 3 red-orange lime-flavoured gummy fruits.
ghostsofnothing gives you 1 dark green lime-flavoured gummies.
hauntedhello gives you 16 light orange chocolate-flavoured jelly beans.
ofnothing gives you 8 light yellow grape-flavoured gummy worms.
reve_ethere gives you 12 tan orange-flavoured wafers.
scalyredemption tricks you! You get a block of wood.
blackeraser ends up with 87 pieces of candy, a pen cap, and a block of wood.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

I ended up with a lot of candy. Damn.

:: The Truth ::

Wed, 29 Oct 2003 18:13:46 GMT

If you don't like being hurt then please don't stay.

:: All I Need Is A Little Comfort ::

Wed, 29 Oct 2003 18:08:56 GMT

she's trapped inside her room
with reruns on the screen
old books and movies
but she can't stop thinking
i'm torn between myself
my radio my friends
i want to write this one off over and over again
and then she looked at me to scream
"my castles are falling"
but i can't look into the street
without everything changing

i want to read good news
i want to be innocent again
i want to read good news
but nothing good is happening

she waits all day
she stands a stranger in her skin
she moves the science with her hands
she lines her walls
with every paper she can see
these words consume her
but they never set her free
and then she looked at me to scream
"my castles are falling"
but i can't look into the street
without everything changing

i want to read good news
i want to be innocent again
i want to read good news
but nothing good is happening

i want to read good news
i want to be a little kid again
i want to read good news
but nothing good is happening
i want to read good news
i want to go to sleep at night again
i want to read good news
but nothing good is happening

:: Pasty ::

Tue, 28 Oct 2003 23:21:41 GMT

-runs around with pastel colored hands- I can't stop drawing with pastels. For the past two days I have filled pages and pages of drawings.

Damn. I need a scanner. Soon, I'll show them all to you. Including some pics of me. Mwahaha. -smoochers-

How are you all by the way?

:: Until I Die ... ::

Tue, 28 Oct 2003 01:02:44 GMT

Bleah. Tired today. More later. Promise.

:: Yellowcard Fucking Rules ::

Fri, 24 Oct 2003 05:23:54 GMT

Way Away
I think I'm breaking out, I'm gonna leave you now,
There's nothing for me here it's all the same,
And even though I know, that everything might go,
Go downhill from here I'm not afraid.

Way away away from here I'll be,
Way away away so you can see,
How it feels to be alone and not believe,
Feels to be alone and not believe anything.

You can't stop me now, you can't hold me down,
You can't keep me here I'm on my way,
I made it this far now, and I'm not burning out,
No matter what you say I'm not afraid.

Way away away from here I'll be,
Way away away so you can see,
How it feels to be alone and not believe,
Feels to be alone and not believe anything.

Letting out the noise inside of me,
Every window pain is shattering,
Cutting off my words before I speak,
This is how it feels to not believe.

Letting out the noise inside of me,
Every window pain is shattering,
Cutting off my words before I speak,
This is how it feels to not believe.

Way away away from here I'll be,
Way away away so you can see,
How it feels to be alone and not believe,
Feels to be alone and not believe anything.

Yellowcard

:: Home Sweet Home ::

Thu, 23 Oct 2003 20:14:35 GMT

"QUOTE: "When I came to ....., I felt that I had discovered something special. Just about as tough a place as there is to make a living; just about as good a place as there is to raise a family; just about as beautiful a place as there is on Earth." - J. Joshwick

If any of these pictures have a red x on them, right click on the picture and click "show picture." That should make the picture show up.

1.
This picture was taken a week ago to date. The Autumn makes everything look so beautiful.

2.
First snow storm of this year. This is up in the mountains about ten minutes from town. We haven't had any snow except in the mountains so far.

3.
Another picture of our first snow storm this year.

4.
Picture of downtown where I live from up on the mountain where the college is located.

5.
This is a picture of a worker in one of the most infamous hotels in our city. The lobby inside is beautiful. The picture really does no justice to just how beautiful it is.

6.
The outside view of the hotel mentioned above in black and white. The hotel is downtown in the city.

7.
One of these days, I plan on doing this Glider Ride. So many tourists when coming to the city do this and it looks marvelous.

8.
When I first moved here in 1991, this indian statue's hand waved at the people coming into downtown. It's so old it doesn't move anymore but it's still there so that everyone can oogle at it while driving by.

8.
A small bed and breakfast located about five to ten minutes out of the city. In the heart of the mountains.

9.
This is the scenery that surrounds the city.

10.
A cheap little private hotel located out of the city about five minutes.

11.
This is where I would frequently play when I was a small girl.

12.
If you follow that ladder down below the ground, there is a small room where the indians would sit and stay warm in winter.

13.
Another view of the "playhouse."

14.
Picture of surrounding mountains on the brink of Fall.

15.
Around the city.

16.
A waterfall on the backroads.

17.
The Springs as I call them. A place where the water is so warm they made it into a pool.

18.
The road we drive every single day. Those mountains surround our city. This is early in the morning so there are no cars out yet.

19.
Another road into the city.

20.
More mountains. If we have anything here in the city, it's mountains.

21.
Small bridge and creek in a private neighborhood.

22.
A small aerial shot of the outskirts.

23.
Small lake on the outskirts of downtown.

24.
Another small picture of the outskirts.

25.
Brand new picture of the city. This was taken a few days ago. The fall is turning everything.

26.
This is the stage at our main theatre and performance hall. I've been here to see ballets, concerts with some friends and perform.

27.
The train here is the trademark. The tourists and celebrities come to ride the train. The scenery is beautiful but after riding it 6 times in your life, that's enough. Heh.

28.
Another train picture. It's a four hour ride to the small city that would take about an hour and an half in the car to get to. But it takes you on cliffs and rivers and mountains that you don't get to see on the car ride.

29.
That's the cliff. It's so far down. The river is HUGE below it. It's breathtaking.

30.
More mountains when the sun is going down. It seems as though the mountains are purple, doesn't it?

31.
You see these kind of flowers when up in the mountains driving from city to city. You can also see scenery and flowers like that in Spring and Summer when you hike or four wheeling.

32.
Beautiful scenery.

33.
Even more scenery.

34.
A picture of the many waterfalls that surround the city all around.

35.

36.
Our beautiful river that goes through the city and through the passing cities around us. Really popular for kayaking and floating down. The Beach as the locals call it is on this river.

37.
Downtown on Main street at night. Usually the streets are smothered with tourists and locals that go out to pubs and dance clubs to listen to live rock bands.

38.
Snow in the forests up in the mountains.

39.
Downtown of the city on Main street during the daytime. Most tourists are out at this time. Aren't those mountains beautiful?

40.
One of the plain buildings on the outskirts of the city.

41.
Aerial shot of the whole city.

42.
Downtown shot of Main street at night.

43.
Someone on the backroads mountain biking.

44.
Scenery picture taken two days ago.

45.
More scenery pictures taken from two days ago.

46.
Picture taken two weeks ago.

:: Haiku ::

Thu, 23 Oct 2003 17:33:36 GMT

Hilarious.

Thu, 23 Oct 2003 16:29:57 GMT

find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com

discover what candy you are @ quiz me

discover your jack-o-lantern face @ quiz me

blackeraser was
a Conservative Turnip Farmer
in a past life.

Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

Yay.

discover your inner candy heart @ quiz me

blackeraser spins tunes as
DJ Groovy Monster

Get your dj name @ Quiz Me

Green

You are a very calm and contemplative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz

Hahaha.

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

... 42 again? Odd.

Anyhow. Where is my beautiful Zane? I haven't spoken to him in a while. Damn it. :: frowns :: Where are you, love?

:: Are You Addicted To The Internet? ::

Wed, 22 Oct 2003 23:34:29 GMT

Are you Addicted to the Internet?

36%

Newbie (21% - 40%)
You've started to learn that there is more to the internet than AOL. You've recovered from that email virus that wiped your hard drive and are thinking of getting DSL. You still tend to forward too many jokes and inspirational thoughts via email to your entire address book.

The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!

:: Cross Post From unsentletters ::

Tue, 21 Oct 2003 20:34:11 GMT

Dear Mother,

I want you to know that sometimes I hate you. The way you speak. The way you laugh. The way you cry.

I hate it when you drink and I'm the only one who will take care of you when you're falling on the floor.

I hate it when memories of my childhood come back and I remember all those nights you cheated on my father.

Who made you hurt this time? Who wipes your tears when you come stumbling home at midnight?

What does it take to finally draw the line? How many times do you have to hurt me until it finally gets through that you were wrong?

When I was small, I knew the lies. I knew the secrets. I knew the slang. I knew what you thought I wouldn't know.

I was there for everything and yet, you think I don't ... and can't remember.

I was there when you slept with him in the bed across from me in that small, dark room.

I was there the next morning when you lost the twins and I held your hand as you bled all over the floor.

I was there when you would get early phone calls after my father left for work. You would laugh like you were 17 again.

I was there when my father decided enough was enough. He was so angry he broke his hand hitting the kitchen cabinent.

I was there when you packed our things and I screamed I wanted to be with my father.

I was there when you pulled me out of his arms.

Years have passed. Ten to be exact. And like movies they play as if they happened just yesterday.

Stop treating me as though I am you. And as though I will be like you.

How can you become what you despise?

Love,
Your Daughter

:: Movie Imitation ::

Mon, 20 Oct 2003 18:30:10 GMT

Found out last night that the wife of an old friend of my mother and my sister's commited suicide the other night.

He came home and saw she had put a plastic bag over her head, duck taped it around her neck, and then hand-cuffed her hands behind her back so that when panic hit, she had no choice but to die.

Reminds me of The Life Of David Gale.

Note: Layout change for both my blurty and livejournal. Like or no?

:: Through The Garden ::

Mon, 20 Oct 2003 18:04:58 GMT

And so we crumble as the Gardener steps over the weeds. Crushing flowers as he walks the pathway. Twitching as thorns rip through the bare soles of his feet.

"Why are you hurting me?"

The Gardener calls out to the flowers. They weep behind tall grass hoping to be seen. Weeds mock tears and stand proud, knowing they will survive another attack.

The thorns answer.

"You punish us, you punish them, you punish all. Can you not tell the difference between a rose and a dandelion anymore?"

The Gardener weeps. He rushes past the colors and petals to the bench across from the pathway. He sits with his hands over has face. Falling tears seep through the crevices of his palms, they land on the ground in front of his feet.

"All I want is to be known. To be seen the way I used to be seen."

The soil is saturated with blood. The tears morph into puddles that would drown a seedling.

The Gardener looks up to see his once beautiful garden is bare. No flowers. No water. Nothing.

He stands. He searches for something. A root. A petal. A fading scent of rose.

Only silence. He holds himself up alone.

The garden has faded.

:: You Want To Be Known? ::

Mon, 20 Oct 2003 08:20:53 GMT

I hope you choke on those beautiful words you piece of fucking filth.

:: Smooches To My Loves ::

Mon, 20 Oct 2003 07:01:09 GMT

Stolen from the beautiful sarzee Spanks.

:Ten bands i've been listening to lately:
01: Brand New
02: AFI
03: Dashboard Confessional
04: A Perfect Circle
05: Linkin Park
06: Evanescence
07: Staind
08: Chevelle
09: Puscifer
10: Coldplay

:Nine things i look forward to:
01: The look on N.'s face on Christmas when he sees what I got him.
02: My garden and trees during Autumn.
03: Redemption.
04: Learning just how strong I am when I survive what I'm going through.
05: Telling N. my secret.
06: When my sister figures out who she really wants.
07: When my mother doesn't worry about money.
08: When my dad finds happiness in love.
09: New books to read and devour.

:Eight things i like to wear:
01: Belly button rings.
02: Black vinyl jacket.
03: Black leather jacket.
04: Knee high stompin' boots.
05: My gap jeans.
06: My cameos.
07: Tie thongs. Hah.
08: Warm and comfy sweatpants with big ass sweatshirts.

:Seven things that annoy me:
01: Chomping food.
02: Smacking gum.
03: The word "skank."
04: Liars.
05: Assumptions.
06: CHEATING.
07: Ass kissers.

:Six things i love:
01: The ocean.
02: Butterflies.
03: N.
04: Writing.
05: Music.
06: Reading.

:Five things i do everyday:
01: Brush my teeth.
02: Take a hot shower.
03: Write until my hand hurts.
04: Sing when no one is listening.
05: Dream.

:Four people i want to spend more time with:
01: Angela.
02: Anne.
03: N.
04: Joey.

:Three movies i could watch over and over again:
01: The Crow.
02: Brokedown Palace.
03: Seven.

:Two of my favorite songs at the moment:
01: Guernica - Brand New
02: 6 to 8 - AFI

:One thing i'd rather be doing:
01: Coloring.

:: Hating And Hoping And Loving And Leaving ::

Mon, 20 Oct 2003 05:28:17 GMT

Current Mood-- In between biting my nails and peeling off my skin.
Current Music-- Redeemer - Marilyn Manson
Current Taste-- After taste of water downed pepsi. Flat from frequent trips of wishing and washing in a grocery bag.
Current Hair-- Natural. It's all curly and put up high with a baby blue ponytail holder.
Current Clothes-- Oversize grey t-shirt that has my old high school's name on it, and drawstring dark blue pants.
Current Grievance-- Heh. N. being so fucking musically inclined while I strum on my piano and he plays his guitar and drums.
Current Annoyance-- Palm trees... those nasty bitches.
Current Smell-- N.'s cologne he puposely sprayed all over my room so when he left tonight I would miss him and try to rape the pillows.
Current Longing-- To find my way to heaven and then stroke the wings of a angel. One that is pure.
Current Game-- See how long I can keep a dying secret.
Current Thing I Ought To Be Doing-- Finishing school though I literally have to drag myself to classes.
Current Windows Open-- MSN Hotmail (x 4), Jasc Paintshop, livejournal for honey pants, and Semagic.
Current Desktop Picture-- Happy Bunny saying "I think I gave you crabs." Fuckin' awesome. :: strokes screen ::
Current Favorite Artist-- Ah fudge. I don't know. I have a lot. Someone who doesn't moan about sex or losing love.
Current Favorite Group-- Brand New. I will marry their new CD once it's legal.
Current Book-- The Best Of Dreams Of Decadence
Current Cd In Stereo-- I have five in the stereo right now. QOTD soundtrack, Underworld Soundtrack, Brand New, Evanescence, Type O Negative
Current Video In VCR or DVD-- The Crow ... so when I turn on my t.v. Brandon Lee's sexy face is flashing on my screen.
Current Refreshment-- Pepsi. Though I want to break the glass and throw it all over the wall because it tastes nasty. I want water.
Current Worry-- How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Current Malicious Intent-- I want my mother to feel emotional pain. The kind I feel when she talks of cheating as if it's nothing more then a frolick through a field of daisies.
Current Misguided Opinion-- I believe that half the population is so dumb that 99.9 % of the time they are thinking about either sheep and their eating habits, or someway to rush off to the public restroom to masturbate to soothe their frustrations.
Current Crush-- No one. But my stuffed animal Mr. Moose has the hots for my flowered pillow.
Current Favorite Celebrity-- Jack Skeleton. That skinny ass if mine.
Current Time Wasting Wish-- To swim naked with a bunch of razor sharp teethed sharks in the darkness of a secluded ocean. Without dying.
Current Hate-- Spooks. Religion. Palm trees. Eye liner that smears. White lipstick. And orange telephones.

Woot.

:: A Picture Can Say A Thousand Words ::

Sat, 18 Oct 2003 22:54:28 GMT

waited for night: http://home.thirdage.com/Art/iconbitch/angelthrow.jpg

Here is your question. What do you see in this picture?

On31r0s: hm.... i see an angel watching someone (child?) falling into fire... a sacrifice, maybe... that's what i think.

waited for night: A sacrifice for what?

On31r0s: i don't know. god, maybe? something else.... or maybe not so much a sacrifice as a punishment... sinners to hell and all that, but sacrifices are more romanticized, so i'll stick with that. a sacrifice to a fallen ideology.

waited for night: :: nods ::

On31r0s: what do you see?

waited for night: A false redemption. The child thinks that the angel has come to take them to the gates. Everything will be erased. The pain. The torment. The agony. And just when the gates are opening, the angel is really not a ... angel at all. It's a demon. A demon with black wings.

They take the child and throw them into the fire. You think the child would scream. But they don't. They have no words. Just the realization that even in death, nothing and no one is what is seems. Or merciful.
waited for night: it, rather.

On31r0s: ah.... now that's interesting...

On31r0s: but aren't angels and demons just the same thing with a different face?
waited for night: Perhaps. Maybe angels are demons. Demons are angels.
waited for night: What do you think?

On31r0s: i think they're the same. maybe not exactly the same, but close enough. angels. demons. they're just names we've ascribed to beings we don't understand. what a demon can do, and what an angel can do, are not so very different.

waited for night: Yes.

waited for night: But I don't think that all angels are demons. And that all demons are angels. There are few that are just what they are. Evil. Good.

On31r0s: i don't think there's anything that's inherently good or evil. yes, basically what you've said. most have their own motivations, but some are genuinely nice, and some aren't.

waited for night: Yeah.

On31r0s: which sorta puts an interesting perspective on redemption...

On31r0s: and faith.

:: Faith ::

Sat, 18 Oct 2003 21:01:17 GMT

My neice was going through my old box of small childhood toys, playing with them and showing me how she could make the lights on the games flicker on and off.

Suddenly she says, "What's this?" I turn around and see that she is holding an old bookmark.

I ask her to toss it to me and she does, it flies under my bed with terrible accuracy. Though, good for a three year old.

I pick up the bookmark and see what it says. The words are quotable.

"Faith in one's self unlocks those hidden powers that all of us have, but that so few of us use." - Albert J. Beveridge

Yes indeed.

:: The N. And The L. Forever ::

Sat, 18 Oct 2003 06:51:48 GMT

We interrupt this normal journal entry for a brief moment of words from The N.

N. --- Take over, babe

N. : -techno music-yeah...............well.................hi....my name is N........Thats Nnanananana......-echo-. I have a weird fascination with man eating goats....serious...(they live in Canada)...I wish I was from canada....-thinks- Nah, I was kiddin..Hehe, haha, hoho. -kisses The L. On the nose- Did I mention that I have a dog named Bingo? Well I dont really...I always wanted a dog named that though. Well I guess I have to go now......I need to go now. I need to go now seriously.....Well I can stay for a minute.....-1 min flies by- Well Stay quiet all you little people out there, and vote for kennedy!!! Poop

Back to The L.

:: smoochers for N. :: That's all.

:: Notes From The Underground ::

Fri, 17 Oct 2003 17:17:53 GMT

The dreams have returned. 'nuff said.

:: Gag Me With A Pitchfork ... It'll Feel So Much Better ::

Fri, 17 Oct 2003 07:19:32 GMT

Sometimes I wonder how many times I have to scream at the top of my lungs right in someone's ear before they finally listen to me.

I'm about to throw blood on the cuts and smear it with red paint so I can cover up the wounds.

Angels will fly. Demons will crawl. And I am caught in the middle of it all.

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	blackeraser
Your haiku:	returned nuff said gag me with a pitchfork it'll feel so much better
Username:

Created by Grahame